your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
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