i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
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