he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
