just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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