My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
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