having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
