OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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