that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
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Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
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