the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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