My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Randomize
