yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
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