It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
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