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At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
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