Do vagina's smell?
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
