i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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