Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
