her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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