I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
