Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
I love having hate sex.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
