Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
i drank out of a bidet.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
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