oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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