I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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