now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Randomize
