dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
Randomize
