dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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