Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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