can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
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