You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
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