How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
