Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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