Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
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