There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
Are my feet made of real feet?
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
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