before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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