tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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