Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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