I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
