i wish there were pregnant emoticons
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
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