Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
he was CRYING into my vagina
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Please don't give away my fajitas
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
