peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Randomize
