he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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