are you still at the devil's house?
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Randomize