hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
