I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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