so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Randomize
