I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I think i peed on brittanys purse
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
Randomize
