After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
