Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
