she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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