i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
