Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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