She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
