oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
What a dumb baby whore.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
I would ride that face into the sunset
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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