He disabled his match.com account in front of me
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Randomize
