i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
this is an emotional support booty call
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
