You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
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