Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
