quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
