I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
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