You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Randomize
