scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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