is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
