His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
